It brings me to tears to think about how far Kaleb has come
the past 8 months. When we took custody of Kaleb he was so disconnected from
us, really any people. He would literally run from us any chance he could. He was
so happy to be out of his room at the Transition Home, but he didn’t care to
have any interactions with people unless you gave him food (which then made his
throw up because he was so overfed). We spent many hours at the TH following
Kaleb around the building as he walked/ran to get away from us. He didn’t think
it was a game, he just didn’t want to be held or played with. He gave no eye
contact for several weeks. Slowly over the last 8 months he has changed into
this cuddly boy who loves to be held often and can/will make eye contact.
Towards the end of May (after 4 months of not leaving him AT ALL) he began to
be very clingy and didn’t want me to leave him. He would scream if I walked out
of the room or the house. He cried when we left him at the nursery or at the
babysitter’s house. We talked with our social worker to see if we were doing
the right thing by leaving him for a short time every once and awhile. She
assured us it was good for the bonding process to teach him that mommy and
daddy always come back. It was after a few times of leaving him and coming back
that I really saw a bond form. The sitter also said he calmed down a minute or
so after I left. He still didn’t care for the nursery at church, one week he
was so mad he stuck his finger down his throat to make himself throw up. I have
been praying for his heart to understand I am his mama forever and that he
wouldn’t be so scared when I left him. I’m so thankful that God has been
working in his little heart and he seems more comfortable when I drop him off.
The past 3 days Kaleb hasn’t cried when I drop him off at the sitters (this is
AMAZING from the kicking and screaming I would get before). Kaleb has also
stayed in the church nursery for the whole service for the past 2 Sundays.
These are the first two church services I have been able to sit the whole way
through since I became a mom 18 months ago. My eyes were constantly checking
the pager screen because I have gotten paged out every other week. But I was in
church the whole time. It was so nice and so needed! I know we aren’t “done”
with bonding and Kaleb being upset when I leave him (he does it to Brad too,
but I am almost always the one who drops him off), but I am so thankful that
his little heart isn’t hurting as much or as often now. Praise God!
Isaiah has also been out of the ‘honeymoon’ and ‘wanting to
please’ stage for a few months too. He often says what he really thinks about a
situation rather than ‘whatever you want me to do mom and dad’. We are experiencing
several typical behaviors of an 11 year old also. Our social worker says this is also wonderful! She says that this means he is bonded more with us and is more comfortable to be real with us. Overall he is a great kid and
we are so thankful to have him as our son. He continues to be an excellent big
brother to both Kaleb and Jacob. He also continues to ask (daily) when we are
going back to Africa to adopt more siblings for him J He slips it into about every conversation.
Last night he asked if I would take grapes with us on the plane when we go back
to Ethiopia to adopt more brothers and sisters. I told him that I will buy more
grapes tomorrow, we don’t need to wait until we fly to Ethiopia. It just goes
to show it is something that is on his heart daily and it makes us smile!
Last night Jacob slept all night in Isaiah’s bed. Isaiah often
asks to sleep with someone (anyone) and Jacob has been sleeping in our bed
still. He often still wakes up crying until he knows we are right there. For
the first time (since last April) Jacob was comforted by someone other than me
and he went back to sleep. He woke up crying at 1am and by the time I got into
Isaiah’s room, Isaiah was already patting Jacob’s back and singing to him. I’m
so thankful that he isn’t quite as scared at night as he was at first. God has
helped heal his little heart too. I don’t know if he will ever sleep in a bed
by himself, but he was happy to be with Isaiah last night!
